The following is an editor’s letter that didn’t quite make it into Generation for one reason or another. I thought I’d post it here so it didn’t go completely to waste.
Obi-Wan Kenobi predicted Facebook a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy,” he said, peering out from a trendy brown hoodie in Episode IV. He also predicted hoodies.
This revelation revealed itself as I was creeping my way through my friends’ status updates the other day and a great big lump of coal emerged, wedged between the sparkly statuses I usually see, like that one girl who made sure we all knew she was using a Ped Egg to buff the calluses from her feet.
It read, “Shame on you America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment—yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. 99 percent of people won’t have the guts to copy and repost this.”
The person was right. I didn’t have the guts to repost it—mostly because I don’t like sounding like an idiot, except for when I’m leading my editor’s letters with Star Wars quotes; there’s always an exception to a rule.
It’s true; America isn’t perfect. We have a lot of problems. Unemployment is staggering, people are living on the streets and the Terminator controls a vast segment of the western part of the country. Shouldn’t they have thrown him into a vat of molten steel like in “T2: Judgment Day” by now? Some people never learn.
But comparing the problems in the United States to the problems in Haiti is a lot like comparing apples to horse shit. Haiti is in a complete state of disarray. I’m not going to go into detail, I wrote an in-depth story about it for the last issue of Generation. You should go read it. And then buy some ads.
The United States, in comparison, is not in a state of disarray, despite what some may think. Americans spend $5 billion on ice cream every year and our biggest problem is deciding if we should give everyone free health care. Plus we have a creepy guy who travels around the country in a bus and builds people new homes once every week. Does Haiti have a creepy guy?
No, they don’t.
In Haiti, people now have to fight to feed their families. The luckiest stand patiently in mile-long lines, trying to get some of the food that relief workers are handing out. In contrast, most Americans complain when the line at Starbucks is more than five people long.
“I shouldn’t have to wait more than five minutes for my tall half-skinny half-1 percent extra hot split quad shot (two shots decaf, two shots regular) latte with whip.”
I ran out of analogies for comparing America’s problems with Haiti’s, so I did what most college students do when they run out of stuff to say; I googled an answer. I’d have to say that reddit.com user FourForty (Hi! You’re famous!) put it best.
“In America the problems cannot just be patched. You can’t just have a telethon and then homelessness no longer exists or anything. These problems cannot be fixed the same way. It’s like teaching a man to fish vs. giving a man a fish. In America, they need to be taught how to fish. However in Haiti, they’ll die before you can teach them so you just need to give them a damn fish.”
I donated money to Haiti. I donated to Médecins Sans Frontières, also known as Doctors Without Borders to all you freedom-fry eatin’, Hummer-drivin’ patriots. After I donated, I posted a message about my act onto the wretched hive of scum and villainy, encouraging others to give. I was surprised when I read that a couple of people told me I was bragging.
I have been known to brag about the time I put that one measly quarter into the “Total Recall” pinball machine and played for four hours straight without adding more money, or that chilly night in early 2009 when I guzzled 20 bottles of apple juice in that bar on King Street in Toronto. Those count as bragging. And I’ll probably tell you about them again.
But I’d hardly say that donating $20 to a charity and telling people how they can do the same is bragging, just like it isn’t bragging when I go to Tops and buy a tremendous jar of pickles and tell people about it, because anyone can do it.
Haiti is right around the corner from America. We’re like neighbors. If you saw your neighbor’s house burning down, drove by and beeped and yelled out the window; “hey, I’d love to help but I have to vacuum my carpets, the cats have been throwing up and they’re really dirty,” you’d probably look a little bit like a jerk. The rest of the neighborhood probably wouldn’t like you very much. Though they probably didn’t like you before, because you’re a cat owner.
All countries in the world, America included, have a moral imperative to help each other in times of dire need. The world failed to intervene in 1994, when ethnic Hutus in Rwanda began killing the ethnic Tutsi minority. Between 500,000 and 1 million people were killed.
A very persuasive man named Allen DeWane Harris keeps coming to my office and reminding me of this. Mr. Harris is the executive producer of the performance of “Miracle in Rwanda” at UB, which will take place in the Student Union on Feb. 11, 12 and 13. The performance is a one-person show featuring many characters, all played by Leslie Lewis Sword, who Mr. Harris assures is very beautiful.
The second night features a viewing of the terrific film, “Hotel Rwanda,” with a discussion afterward involving Rwandan Paul Rusesabagina, on whom the movie is based. I wouldn’t normally plug an event like this in my articles, but I think it is important now, more than ever, to remember that the United States is not the center of the world.
So please, on Feb. 11, 12 and 13, put down your $5 billion worth of ice cream, log off the hive, grab your Obi-Wan inspired apparel and check out the world outside of the states.
May the force be with you,
Ren LaForme
The Mediatrician 